WOULD AN AUTOBOT BUY LIFE INSURANCE OR CAR INSURANCE?
The fifth installment of the live action Transformers series, The Last Knight, is coming out June 23. This release got me thinking - would Autobots need to purchase life insurance or auto insurance?
The topic has been highly debated on sites like Reddit and Quora, but I wanted to take a stab at answering the question myself. Immediately, my mind went to auto insurance. After all, ‘auto’ is in their name so it only makes sense, right?
But, after delving deeper into the Transformer’s internet nerddom, I started to question that theory. Before I explain why let’s talk a little bit about the state of life and auto insurance in the United States.
I know – you didn’t come her to learn about insurance. But, I promise it’ll help in the end. And, after all, this is an insurance blog!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND AUTO INSURANCE
Before you can answer the question of whether Autobots need life insurance or auto insurance, you have to answer the question of what makes life insurance and auto insurance so different.
Now, it doesn’t take a genius to answer that question. One obviously insures your life, while the other insures an object you own – your car.
But, to be more specific:
Life insurance is a contract with an insurance company that states your chosen beneficiaries will be paid a lump-sum when you die.
Auto insurance is a contract with an insurance company that states they’ll pay for your losses in a covered accident as defined by the policy. Those losses could include liability costs, medical bills or property damage.
Side note: As an alien race that’s constantly at war with the Decepticons and destroying cities in the process, property damage coverage would be a huge benefit.
With that said, both contracts require you to pay a monthly fee, or premium, in return for the benefits. However, those fees vary greatly. And you’ll likely be surprised which costs more.
MORE PEOPLE BUY AUTO INSURANCE
Having auto insurance is required to legally operate an automobile. So, you won’t be surprised to learn that a majority of people have it. In fact, only 12.6 percent of drivers are uninsured.
What you would be surprised to learn is that insuring your life costs about half of what it costs to insure your car. Yet, more people have car insurance than life insurance. Nearly one-third of households are uninsured!
So, if we’re speaking on just a statistical basis, it’s more likely an Autobot would have car insurance than life insurance.
But, there’s a slight flaw in that theory. If auto insurance provides indemnity to the owner of the car, then how does that work if the owner and the car are one in the same?
Now, if we humans owned the Autobots like Sam did Bumblebee in the first Transformer’s movie, then it would make total sense for us to insure them using car insurance.
In fact, you better if you want to protect yourself from the costly property damages that are likely to ensue from Decepticon battles.
However, if you know anything about Autobots, then you know that’s not how it works. If you don’t know anything about Autobots, keep reading.
WHAT IS AN AUTOBOT?
In order to know which product is best suited for the Autobots, we have to know what an Autobot is. And, depending on who you ask, you might get a different answer.
According to Ratchet, an Autobot himself, they are autonomous robotic organisms.
The term ‘autonomous’ implies that they’re independent. The term ‘organisms’ implies that they’re living beings. And, the fact that they have and are conscious of subjective feelings and emotions means that they are sentient.
This brings up two key questions regarding whether auto insurance is the right choice:
If the ‘auto’ in Autobots actually stands for autonomous, then are the Autobots even truly automobiles?
And if Autobots are in fact independent, sentient beings – and the United States that resides in the fictional Transformers’ universe still abides by slavery laws – would a person be legally allowed to own an Autobot?
Now, ask the same fictional U.S. government and you get a different answer.
In Revenge of the Fallen, the U.S. enacted a treaty called the Non-Biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty (NEST). The term ‘non-biological’ implies that the government viewed the Autobots as machines.
If that’s the case, perhaps it would have been acceptable to own an Autobot and purchase auto insurance on it.
But, since the U.S. cut ties with the Autobots in Age of Extinction and secretly assembled a task force, by the name of Cemetery Wind to hunt and kill them, it seems that wouldn’t even be an option.
SO, WHICH IS IT? LIFE OR AUTO.
So, if auto insurance isn’t the answer, then it has to be life insurance, right? Well, not necessarily.
Let’s think about the purpose behind life insurance: to provide financially for your family, spouse or dependents after your death.
In other words, it replaces your income after you’re gone. That’s why when you calculate how much life insurance you need, your income plays a huge part.
But, there’s no evidence in the films that Autobots make (or even need) money. And since they’re spawned from the All Spark, there’s no evidence that they procreate. This means that they don’t have children or families to pass their legacy to.
So, if they don’t have money or families, what’s the point of life insurance?
And, even if they did meet both of those qualifications, it’s not likely an Autobot would pass the underwriting process.
Since they’re constantly at war with the Decepticons, a life insurance company would view them as high risk. Not to mention, they couldn’t complete the medical test. That is unless modern medicine found a way to test Transformium (Transformer’s blood) for critical illnesses.
Let’s say Autobots eventually defeat the Decepticons once and for all – which most likely won’t happen anytime soon considering there’s already two more transformers movies in the works…
One could assume that with the Decepticons gone, the U.S. would welcome the Autobots to live out their days peacefully on earth, start families and get jobs. Only then would it make total sense for them to get life insurance.
And, probably even disability insurance to ensure that if they were disabled or critically ill and couldn’t work their Earth jobs, they wouldn’t miss out on any paychecks.
With all that said, the evidence pointing towards life insurance being the right choice slightly outweighs that of auto insurance.
Especially, if life insurance companies developed specialized extraterrestrial life insurance products. AllSpark Mutual anyone?
No matter which way you look at it, Autobots are aliens. And, in our current, non-fictional lives, aliens have yet to be commonly accepted as real. So, while there is such a thing as alien abduction insurance, we currently lack the policies necessary to cover the aliens themselves.
In conclusion, if you’re an Autobot trying to decide between auto and life insurance, I say good luck. If you’re a person trying to decide between auto and life insurance, I say seriously consider both.
Let us know where you stand in the #AutobotDebate. Share your opinions on Facebook or Twitter and shout out @EnsuremLLC.